Recurring Theme

No one said this was going to be easy. Now, to be honest, I'm not even trying, am I? If I was I would be promoting like crazy, putting a little money into it, writing more intriguing posts, and would have a  better, non-generic site design. Ah, but here's the thing. I don't want to spend any money on this. I only really care that my friends read (even though a lot of things I post they don't care to read or I normally wouldn't actually tell them). I might have said it a million times, but it's really just to keep me writing and on a schedule. The schedule part is kicking my ass because I'm bad at doing things in a timely manner unless someone is on top of me [insert joke about how she doesn't think anything's timely when she's on top of me (>.<)]. I should be a comedian. Or maybe not, because I'll never write anything funny without someone on top of me [insert joke about how she doesn't think being on top of me is a laughing matter]. Okay, I'm done. (That's what she said.)

Look, it's like 10PM and I'd rather be doing other things. The funny thing about it is that the only other thing I'd rather be doing is replaying Mass Effect (I'm a girl this time XD). And yet, I don't even want to play video games either. I mean I don't usually play video games, but I guess when I do I go all out. Mass Effect was really good though, story and all. That's why I'm playing it again. Also because I have nothing else to do. I would be reading another book if it wasn't for the short story I need to have written within the next two days. I don't like to write stories and read books at the same time. I have an issue with being productive.

So here's your recurring theme. It's all about not being productive and working for nothing at all, really. I'll draw you a diagram:

Do you see? I go to work just so that I can go to work. I mean, I live in the process, so that's good. But I want more out of you than that, Life! Besides. I don't feel my contribution to society is enough to think this diagram is anywhere near appropriate. Maybe I should contribute to charities so that I would feel like I am providing for society. Oh, wait, I do that. Still not enough.

Maybe I should go help people build wells in Africa. Join the military. Or maybe I could study super duper hard for SATs and ACTs and take an IQ test to prove to people my college is worth paying for and I will become a doctor or a physicist or something. My interest in math and chemistry lately is kinda awesome. Anyway. None of this is likely to happen. But I believe that it could if I wanted it to.

My contribution to society is this shitty blog. A lot of the short stories and poetry I have written are pretty great, but they don't touch enough of my fellow 300,000,000 Americans.

I need to write a book.

My life is lived and ruts. I live in them long enough before I decide to escape and fall into another.